[Anyme]

Yeah, right, what I say is total bullshit. what i say is obvious. As simple as that and that's it. Common truth.

Buit it's very hard to be an insider. To feel the same, be compassionate. i never thought I would, because when i am, i'm getting banal in a flash. But still...

But still i wanted to say something simple yet warm. soothing. Encouraging. something that might help to restrain the inner demons. The personal nightmares.

I failed.

Anyway, it wasn't meant to be a sermon.

I want to touch the on the inside, everybody. give them warth and strength. I want to help. Both physically and mentally. Because when I can't help, I feel like drowning myself.

I'd like to chase all those shades of past and put them in order. Straighten them up, sort them out and leave the harmless ones.

I failed.

I felt like I needed to say something for you to know I'm the one who you can count upon.

It's not about disbelief, it's about senselessness. i thought it was going to be friendlike and it turned out to be patronizing bullshit. The problem is, I really meant what I said. I believed it. Myself. And it weren't mere words I wanted to share. I wanted to give you warmth. Tenderness. Because I have never given it out and people think me incapable of compassion.

I'm not.

I've got too much love, running through my veins, going to waste.

I never thought banal words could hide real feeling.

I was wrong.

Fuck all that.

I've already got sick of myself. How very tragic. Gotta go eat something. Or play some Unreal 2004.